Marital Commitment Counseling

Deciding Whether To Divorce Or To Commit To Therapy

Marital Commitment Counseling is an approach to couple therapy that is useful when you are thinking about divorce but are unsure if this is the best step for you. In this instance, it makes sense to take a careful look at the nature of the relationship before you make a decision to end it. One hallmark of this approach is that it emphasizes your autonomy. You are helped to experience your intention to either working on your marriage or to divorcing as the outcome of a clear and conscious choice. (My approach is based on and similar to Discernment Counseling, developed by William Doherty and Steven Harris.)

Marital Commitment Counseling is brief (anywhere from one to six sessions) and focuses on understanding better how you got into your current situation of marital distress and to explore what can be done about it. It does not focus on trying to change marital problems but assists you in clarifying if there is the interest and will to work on making the marriage better. Both partners are involved in this process and there is also one-on-one time with both the partner who is “leaning out” and the partner who is “leaning in”.

Marital Commitment Counseling is not appropriate if:

• A final decision has already been made to divorce

• There is domestic violence, or the threat of it

• One partner has been coerced to participate in the process